


A Salty Situation

by Kyarorain



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: General, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-03
Updated: 2003-08-03
Packaged: 2017-10-05 18:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyarorain/pseuds/Kyarorain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ash and friends discover a salty surprise in Mossdeep... a salty surprise which could mean the end of the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Salty Situation

**Author's Note:**

> **A Salty Situation**

**A Salty Situation**

* * *

This is a one-shot fic, set during Hoenn. It's had an extensive rewrite however. I wrote the fic a long time back, even before Max _had _an English name. Later, I came back to update this so that it fit with the anime timelime up to Mossdeep City and renamed Masato to Max. I find it quite funny I had a character in here called Maxwell, or Max for short. Yes, that's right, it wasn't on purpose. I still added a line from Max in response anyway. Sadly, updating meant a big plothole with Togepi... but you'll see how I got around it. I really didn't have much choice.

I do not own Pokémon, it's actually owned by Game Freak and Nintendo!

* * *

_In the ancient times of Pokémon, a tribe of now extinct Pokémon hailed the elements sodium and chlorine. They used their powers, their tears, their emotions to bring these two elements together and they created sodium chloride. Over the years, humans hunted these Pokémon for sodium chloride. In their panic, the Pokémon made a living organism out of these special elements and sealed it away in a lump of sodium chloride. It was cast into the sea where it lay for centuries undisturbed, and on land humans slew all the sodium chloride loving Pokémon and they stole all the sodium chloride, which they came to call salt and they even learned how to make more._

_Centuries after the creation of salt and the Wars of Salt, we now find ourselves surrounded by people and Pokémon living in harmony, who do not know how salt nearly destroyed the world._

* * *

**Cerulean City Gym**

Swimming in a pool full of water Pokémon seemed like a fairly risky and possibly unhygienic thing to do, but there were some people who actually enjoyed doing it, like Misty for example. She was so fond of water Pokémon, she would even swim in the water that was reserved for them without a care in the world.

"Alright, it's time to take a swim!" Misty stretched her arms out wide, before leaping elegantly off the diving board. A moment later, she resurfaced with a big grin on her face. "Ahh, that's more like it," she said with a happy sigh.

"Togetic." Togetic stood at the edge of the pool, watching Misty swim a few laps. The Pokémon was visiting. This was due to a giant plothole being created by updating the story to fit the anime's timeline. Therefore, the evolved Togetic was simply paying Misty a visit for no reason.

Eventually, Misty got bored of swimming and came out, reaching for a nearby towel with which she started drying her hair. It probably wouldn't be very long before some random newbie trainer came in for a Cascade Bage and it was her responsibility to be ready for them. She would accept any challenge that came her way without hesitation. Being the gym leader was actually a pretty fun time, though she did like to have the chance to relax.

"Toge, toge!" Togetic ran around the side of the pool. Despite having evolved, it still had a playful nature.

Misty glanced at Togetic, wondering again why it was visiting, even though she didn't really mind. Togetic was supposed to be guarding the Mirage Kingdom in Hoenn, the region where Ash, Brock and their friends were currently travelling. "I wonder how Ash and Brock are doing," Misty murmured as she paused the drying of her hair. "I sure do miss them. " She especially missed Ash, as well as the times when she was travelling with her friends around the world, but her duty as the gym leader of Cerulean City was important. Her sisters were much too incompetent to run it by themselves after all.

**Mossdeep City**

"We're finally here! I'm hungry!" cried Ash, stretching his arms and yawning. His stomach rumbled quietly.

"This is Mossdeep City," said Max. "It is a coastal town-"

"Be quiet, Max!" cried May, "I don't care where we are!"

"But this town is interesting," Max protested, "Astronauts come from here..."

"Astronauts, huh?" Brock repeated.

"Eh, what's an astronaut?" Ash's mind went blank as he tried to remember what that word meant.

"People who travel in space, Ash," May said with a sigh. "Do they really all come from here?"

"Uh, well..." Max stopped to think.

"Let's just get to the Pokémon centre!" Ash grumbled.

"Pikachu, pi!" agreed the little yellow mouse Pokémon sitting on his shoulder.

"But I know there's a white rock here they swear on!" Max exclaimed.

"...Let's get to the centre..." sighed May, walking off.

"But it's true!" Max ran after her.

"Whatever..." Ash followed them.

"Ooh, we're going to see Nurse Joy!" Brock said in a singsong voice, dancing after them.

**Mossdeep Pokémon Centre**

"Oh, Nurse Joy!" Brock barged in front of Ash, May and Max and talked to the computer, "Will you heal my aching heart tonight?"

"Huh?" Someone peeked out from behind the computer, "What?" Strangely enough, it was not Nurse Joy. In fact, the person was a man with spiky brown hair and green eyes, wearing a plaid suit.

"Um..." Brock sweat dropped. "Where's Nurse Joy?"

"Oh, all the Nurse Joys went on vacation," the man explained, "So we're filling in for them. I'm Nurse John, and all my brothers and cousins are also called John. They also all look exactly like me."

"NOOOOO!" Brock wailed, running out of the centre.

"Hey, Brock!" called Ash. "Don't you want to heal your Pokémon... wait, you never use them anyway."

"Can you heal my Pokémon please?" May plonked her four Poké Balls, containing Combusken, Beautifly, Skitty and Bulbasaur, down on the machine.

"Mine too!" cried Ash, smacking Pikachu and the Poké Balls containing Grovyle, Swellow and Torkoal down on it too.

"No problem," said Nurse John, healing them and handing them back over, "Your Pokémon are fully healed."

**Mossdeep City**

Outside, Brock saw a police car. His somewhat absent eyes turned into hearts and he started hammering on it, "Officer Jenny!"

The window rolled down and an angry looking man in a police outfit with a very thick moustache and squinty eyes glowered at him, "I'm Officer Benny, not Jenny!"

"Where's Officer Jenny?" asked Brock in disappointment.

"The Officer Jennies are on holiday!" snapped Officer Benny, "Me and my brothers and cousins replaced them, and we're all called Officer Benny! Before you ask, yes, we all look the same! Cloning is a really popular thing these days."

"NOOOOOO!" Brock ran off again.

Eventually, Ash, May and Max met up with Brock again and he told his sob story to them but they were very unsympathetic.

"Look!" cried Max, "The white rock! I want to see!"

"Boring," groaned May.

"Alright!" Ash jumped up and down, "It might be to do with Pokémon!"

"Jenny... Joy..." Brock sobbed into a huge tissue, completely ignoring his friends.

"Let's go!" said Ash and Max in unison.

"Fine!" growled May as evilly as possible, while giving them a very evil look but they did not notice.

"Joy... why... WHY?" wept Brock heartbrokenly, still ignoring them.

"PIKA!" Pikachu finally had enough and used Thundershock on poor Brock. He was feeling a little antsy today for some reason.

"Pikachu! Don't!" Ash grabbed him and held him tightly.

The charred Brock twitched erratically.

"Let's just go," sighed May, and Ash and May dragged Brock to the white rock, Max way ahead of them.

"HELP!"

"Huh?" Ash and May looked around. Max was already too busy trying to ask people about the white rock. Brock stood up, still smoking slightly from Pikachu's Thundershock.

"Help! It's licking it!"

Ash and company ran towards the sound and found a Lickitung licking a strange white lump, outside the space centre. People were standing around, looking at it in horrified fascination.

"A Lickitung!" cried Ash.

May took out her Pokédex and listened to it explain what a Lickitung was supposed to be.

"Tuuuung!" The Lickitung turned around and glared at Ash and friends.

"PIKA!" Pikachu scampered forwards and his cheeks sparked.

"What was it licking?" Max asked someone standing nearby.

"Don't be rude, Max!" hissed May.

"Umm..." The person shrugged, "It's a white rock which astronauts used to wish themselves good luck or something like that..."

"It looks like a salt lick," said Brock.

"Pikachu, Thundershock!" ordered Ash.

"Pi-" Pikachu did not get any further as Lickitung quickly licked him. He stumbled backwards and then fell over in a faint.

"Pikachu!" cried Ash in disappointment.

"Go, Combusken!" May jumped into the air and flung a Poké Ball. The tall chicken Pokémon quickly popped out.

"Use Ember!" ordered May.

Unfortunately, Lickitung was quicker and licked Combusken who also fainted.

Ash slumped to the ground, "How do we defeat that?"

"What a pain!" May recalled Combusken and sent out Beautifly, "It won't want to lick a bug Pokémon, right?"

"Uh..." Ash, Brock and Max stared at her.

"Beautifly, Stun Spore!" shouted May.

Lickitung stretched out its tongue, but Beautifly quickly dodged and phased it with Stun Spore. It was rooted to the spot and several Officer Bennies came to drag it off. Brock started crying again when he saw the Officer Bennies.

"Now, what's that?" Ash rushed over and picked up the white rock which glittered strangely, "It looks like salt!" He turned to look at May, Max and Brock, and then the rock began to glow.

"Ash, be careful" shouted Brock.

"It's evolving!" exclaimed May.

"It's not a Pokémon, how can it evolve?" argued Max, amazed at his sister's idiocy.

"Huh? Waaah!" Ash was stunned to see the lump of salt in his hands glowing brightly.

"Pikapi?" Pikachu looked up from where he was lying on the ground, recovering from the Lick.

"Yikes!" Ash was freaking out. "There's a glowing lump of salt in my hands!"

**Cerulean City Gym**

"I am Random Unnamed Character from Celadon City and I wish to battle you!"

Misty had been right. Someone had indeed decided to come into the gym today to battle her for the Cascade Badge and probably wouldn't be the last one. Now they stood on the platforms in the pool, facing each other with determined looks on their faces.

"Very well. Two on two battle," Misty declared. "For this battle, I choose you, Gyarados!"

"I choose you, Charmander!" squealed the excited kid. A little fire type Pokémon appeared.

"Oh, bother..." Misty sweat dropped, trying to figure out what idiot would choose a Charmander to fight a Gyarados. This one obviously, "Gyarados, Water Gun!"

"Ember!"

Gyarados did not feel the flames tickling him. He reared back and spat several gallons of water at the Charmander, knocking it out instantly.

"No!" the kid almost cried as he recalled Charmander. He sent out another Pokémon. "I choose you, Weedle!"

Misty almost screamed in fear, then remembered she was a gym leader and it was not good to act weak. "Gyarados, Hyper Beam!"

She was obviously feeling very cruel toward bug Pokémon. The Gyarados knocked Weedle right out of the match with the powerful Hyper Beam.

"WAAAAH!" The kid recalled Weedle and ran out of the gym crying.

**Mossdeep City**

Ash dropped the large lump of salt, uh, white rock and it fell in slow motion to the ground.

"Nooooo!" screamed Max.

"Ahhh!" May exclaimed in shock.

"Oh no!" Ash cried out as he watched it fall.

"Pika!" Pikachu looked on in horror.

The ill-fated 'lump of salt' landed on the ground but luckily did not break. It then glowed so intensely, it lit up the whole city and everyone had to cover his or her eyes. Max tried to keep his eyes open longest but eventually had to close them before he went blind.

Eventually, the glow faded and everybody looked at the ex-lump of salt/salt lick and gasped.

There now stood a two-legged creature which also had two arms. It was about 2 feet tall, and completely white, with a rounded head and two small prongs reaching out to either side of its head. Its eyes were a pale blue colour. It also had a short tail.

"Huh?" Ash pulled out his Pokédex, using it to look up the strange Pokémon standing in front of them. For some strange reason, it actually had some data on it.

"Saltinmyeye," the Pokédex explained. "The Salt Pokémon. It is the only one of its kind, believed to have been extinct, but... I guess it's not now."

"Hmm." Ash pocketed the Pokédex.

"Who should have it?" asked Brock.

"Can I have it?" asked May, "Please?"

"It's a rare Pokémon." Ash gaped. "I gotta have it!"

"I want it!" cried May.

"What for?" Max asked.

"Why don't you two battle to see who gets Saltinmyeye?" suggested Brock.

"Salt, salt?" Saltinmyeye looked at them curiously.

"Salt...in...my...eye?" Max started laughing, "Salt in my eye!"

"Salt, salt!" Saltinmyeye nodded proudly.

"Saltinmyeye, born of a salt lick." Brock found this hard to believe.

Soon, Ash and co. were further away from the space centre in a designated area for battles. Brock and Max sat at the sidelines, with Saltinmyeye and the other Pokémon. Ash and May stood facing each other.

"I choose you, Pikachu!" said Ash. Pikachu walked into the arena.

"I choose you, Combusken!" cried May, throwing Combusken's Poké Ball.

"Pikachu, Thunder Bolt!"

Pikachu fired a bolt of electricity at Combusken.

"Combusken, Ember!"

A spout of flames erupted from Combusken's beak and it collided with the electricity. This in turn caused a massive explosion.

"Pikachu, dodge it!"

"Combusken, dodge it as well!"

Combusken turned and ran as fast as it could, jumping into the air and narrowly escaping the explosion, while Pikachu was not so lucky and was somehow knocked out.

"No, Pikachu!" Ash ran over and picked up Pikachu.

"Pikapi..." said the mouse Pokémon weakly.

"Yay, Combusken!" May huggled Combusken happily.

"Good try, Pikachu." Ash handed him over to Brock, and then the next part of the battle began.

"I choose you, Swellow!" Ash shouted, throwing the Poké Ball. Swellow came flying into the makeshift arena.

The two Pokémon circled each other cautiously. Swellow hovered in the air, watching Combusken threateningly.

"Swellow, use some random attack I can't be bothered to remember!" shouted Ash.

"Combusken, use Scratch!"

The battle continued on in this way until finally Swellow got so bored it fainted and fell to the ground.

"No, Swellow!" cried Ash.

"I did it!" cried May, putting her arms around Combusken and hugging it tightly, "I did it! I did it!"

"The winner is May," declared Brock. "May gets Saltinmyeye!"

"Way to go, sister!" applauded Max.

"Yay! I got Saltinmyeye!" May held out her arms, Combusken backing away as she did so, and Saltinmyeye came running into her arms.

"Huh..." sulked Ash.

"Pika pika, Pikapi," said Pikachu, smiling sympathetically.

"You got salt in your eye?" joked Max. "Does it hurt?"

"Be quiet, worm," muttered May, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Joy... Jenny..." Brock started crying again.

"Oh brother," sighed Ash.

"I must embark on a quest!" Brock shouted, "We must go and locate the Jennys and Joys!"

"Why?" asked Ash.

"Who cares?" muttered May, hugging Saltinmyeye tightly.

"I don't see why not!" Max jumped to his feet, "It might be a heck of a lot more interesting than running around the gyms. Please, can't we take a break from gyms?"

"But..." Ash sniffled.

"YES!" shouted Brock, "WE HAVE TO FIND THEM!"

"Alright!" May snapped, "If it will shut you up, fine!"

"WAAH!" cried Ash, but nobody paid heed to his tears.

**The Extremely Evil and Mysterious Guy's Fortress of Ultimate Doom**

"Hahaha!" TEEAMG (tee-am-gee) laughed evilly, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

He was watching a TV monitor that was somehow watching Ash and company. Actually, it was a Spearow with a camera wrapped around its chest, following them.

The fortress was dark and evil, and down underground were a lot of people all tied up. They all looked the same, actually it was more like two sets of people who looked the same- all the Nurse Joys and Officer Jennys!

"GAHAHAHA!" laughed TEEAMG, "I have replaced the Joys and Jennys with evil clones, which in turn lures those brats here thanks to Squinty Boy's obsession with Jenny and Joy, and they will bring me... SALTINMYEYE!" He was particularly fond out of shouting out words in all caps.

He laughed yet again, believing his plan to be perfect then stopped, "Hmm, how do I get them here anyway? I'll have to devise an absolutely perfect plan to make that happen..."

So TEEAMG got off his chair and walked off to start formulating absolutely perfect plans somewhere else.

**Some Random Flowery Name Town**

"Some Random Flowery Name Town?" squeaked May, still hugging Saltinmyeye.

"What kinda weirdo would name their town that?" asked Ash.

"I wonder where we are..." sniffled Brock, "I want Joy and Jenny."

"Hello."

"OOH!" Brock started drooling.

"Gimme a break!" sighed Max.

A really tall, long-legged woman with really long blonde curly hair and wide blue eyes stood there, staring at Ash and co. as if they were a wandering bunch of Pokémon trainers with Pokémon who were stuffing the gyms for now and just searching for Jennies and Joys.

"Brock..." Ash sighed.

"What's your name?" drooled Brock.

"My name is..." The woman blinked her eyes, her lashes being incredibly long, and smiled, hiking her red dress up her legs a bit more, "Hazel."

"BEAUTIFUL NAME!" exclaimed Brock, his eyes sparkling. Wait, how can non-existent eyes sparkle?

"Hey, Max." May leaned towards Max and started whispering. "Can I pull Brock's ear this time? I've always wanted to do it."

"Well, fine." Max sighed. It wasn't like his ear pulling was special anyway. He had only copied it off the last girl Ash travelled with after all.

"Alright." May walked up to Brock, grinning evilly and grabbed tightly onto his poor earlobe, so she ended up pulling him away by his ear and he screamed in pain.

"I'm surprised Brock's ear hasn't grown from all that pulling," Ash commented. He then remembered they were supposed to be talking to the Character of the Day. Ash walked up to Hazel, "What kind of town is this?"

"A nice one," responded Hazel, "Would you like to come with me?"

"Ok," said Ash, "That would be alright."

So Ash, Pikachu, May &amp; Saltinmyeye, Brock and Max walked off with some random person they had never seen before in their life, which was a good example of them being a bit too trusting but did they think of that? No.

Remember, kids, say no to strangers!

**Cerulean City Gym**

"Togetic, togetic, togi!"

"What is it Togetic?" Misty kneeled next to the small chick Pokémon who was pointing at a letter half hidden beneath a mat by the door. "Oh, there's a letter under the mat?" She pulled out the envelope and opened it.

_Dear Ms. Misty Waterflower,_

_We are glad to tell you that you have won a trip to a Water Pokémon Ball. It is completely Surskit free however, so you do not need to worry about that evil Water/Bug hybrid, and we will give you an all-incredible, all-amazing SUICUNE! You cannot miss this!_

_Tomorrow, come to:_

_The Extremely Evil and Mysterious Guy's Fortress of Ultimate Doom,_  
_A Totally Random Town Named After a Tree which Professor Oak can help you find,_  
_Hoenn_

_See you there._

_The Extremely Evil and Mysterious Guy_

_PS. Also, if you do not come, a Jenny and a Joy might die, that's what they said... BWAHAHA._

"Hey, Togetic!" exclaimed Misty, "It sounds like an ingenious plot to kidnap me, don't you think?"

"Togetic!" The winged Pokémon obviously agreed.

"Hmm..." Misty wondered what would be the best thing to do. "I know! Let's go there, then we can find out who is behind the evil plan and why they want to capture me!"

"Togetic, Togetic," squeaked Togetic, unsure.

"C'mon, Togetic!" Misty scooped it up in her arms and ran out of the gym, "Next stop, Pallet Town!"

**Pallet Town**

"Good afternoon!" yelled Misty, running into Oak's lab. Professor Oak, Tracey Sketchit and Delia Ketchum were all there.

"Hello, Misty!" said Delia, "You heard anything from Ash?"

"Nope." Misty shook her head.

"What are you doing here, Misty?" asked Tracey.

"Be quiet!" growled Misty.

"Do you want something?" asked Oak.

"Yes, I need to go to A Totally Random Town named after a tree, in Hoenn!" said Misty.

"CAN WE COME TOO?" asked Delia and Tracey excitedly.

"Ok!" said Oak, "Let's go then!"

"WAIT!" cried Gary, rushing in. For some unknown reason, he was also there. "I wanna come too, Gramps! Please?"

"The more the merrier, I guess..." sighed Oak.

So Samuel Oak, Delia Ketchum, Gary Oak, Misty Waterflower and Tracey Sketchit all piled into Professor Oak's van and it drove off at a massively high speed towards Hoenn, even though it was somewhere over the sea.

"I can drive, Gramps!" said Gary.

"WHAT?" thundered Oak, "You are far too young!"

"I am?" said Gary.

"Aren't you still 10 years old because nobody ever ages?" asked Delia.

"Yeah, and considering this is a Japanese anime and the official age to be allowed to drive in Japan is 18, you're too young," said Tracey.

"Aw, crap," whined Gary.

**Some Random Flowery Name Town**

Ash's group found themselves in front of a building.

"Come in," said Hazel, opening the door, "And I'll make you tea and cookies!"

"Yay!" exclaimed Ash and co., rushing in.

"Hello," said a bristly old man approaching the children. "Who the heck are you?"

"I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town!" declared Ash. "And I'm going to be a Pokémon Master!"

"I'm Brock Slate from Pewter City," said Brock. "And one day I'm going to have a girlfriend, just wait! Oh, and I want to be a Pokémon Breeder, but I'm so lazy I can't be arsed to do anything at the moment but I'm sure I will soon..."

"I'm May Maple, from Petalburg City," said May. "I'm competing in Pokémon contests around Hoenn. This is my little brother, Max, who is a know-it-all."

"Father," said Hazel, "I thought these kids might like to come to my house. They don't look like they do anything worth crap very often."

"HEY!" exclaimed Ash, "...what did that mean?"

"Ah, Maxwell," said the old man. "It's you." He then walked away.

"MAXWELL?" asked the stunned kids.

"Uh, I can explain," said Hazel, pulling off her wig to reveal shorn brown hair, "I... shave my legs and such... and I'm really..." 'Her' voice turned deep. "A MAN!"

"AAAAAH!" screamed Brock. He started to cry again.

"Your name's... Maxwell?" asked Ash dumbly.

"No way!" cried May.

"Yes," said Maxwell, "Just call me Max. I'm a transvestite, which means I dress like a woman. It works too."

"But that's my name!" Max cried indignantly, quite annoyed that a transvestite was using his name. As if nobody else in the world could be called Max.

"You're... a man?" wailed Brock.

"I can prove it too!" said Transvestite Max, pulling up his dress.

"NO!" screamed May turning around, also turning her brother around and shielding his eyes.

"Stop!" cried Ash, "That won't be necessary!"

"You sure?" boomed Transvestite Max, as he looked uncertainly at his knickers. "Ok then." He let his dress back down.

"LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!" screamed Brock.

"Pika pi!" wailed the frightened Pikachu.

"Salt, salt!" added Saltinmyeye.

The frightened kids fled from the house and spent the next hour or so lost and stumbling through Some Random Flowery Name Town before finding themselves in front of...

"A GYM!" exclaimed Ash.

"I thought we were supposed to be avoiding the gyms for now," groaned May.

"Let's just go check it out anyway," said Brock.

"And Ash can hopefully get another badge," said Max.

So, Ash, Brock, May and Max went into the gym. The gym leader was a very tall woman, with long black curly hair and green eyes and she wore a black leather outfit. Brock started drooling.

"Welcome," said the gym leader in a sultry voice. "Have you come to battle me?"

"Yeah!" said Ash, "I want a badge."

"She's got huge b-" Max didn't get to finish his sentence as May quickly clapped a hand over his mouth.

"_Max_!" May hissed at him.

"Wo...ow..." Brock's jaw dropped and hit the floor.

"Salt? Salt..." Saltinmyeye wriggled uncomfortably.

"Pikapi..." Pikachu nervously hid behind Ash's leg, "Pika pika chuuuu... chu..."

"It's alright, Pikachu!" said Ash.

"What's your name?" asked May of the Gym leader.

"My name is..." The gym leader paused and smiled sexily, "Alana."

"OOH!" cried Brock. "What a beautiful name!"

"Didn't you say the exact same thing to 'Hazel'?" Max asked suspiciously.

"Can I battle for a badge?" asked Ash impatiently.

"I don't think so..." said Alana, "I don't do badges..."

"Then WHAT do you do?" exclaimed Ash in frustration.

"...I do.. special dances..." said Alana, a wicked grin on her face. "In the bedroom... but it's costly. And I can roleplay battles in bed too. Hence, a 'gym'."

"OOH!" cried Brock. "ME, ME!"

"What does she mean?" asked Max, his eyes wide.

"Most of you seem to be too young though," Alana said, eyeing them critically.

"Let's get out of here!" May exclaimed.

"Uh... so no badges then?" Ash asked, blinking in confusion.

"Huh?" Brock was immediately being pulled out by his hair, thanks to May, as Ash and Max followed. "OW!"

Eventually, the group were a long way away from the gym. Brock looked very upset. Ash seemed quite perplexed. Max looked very innocent. May was red-faced and fuming.

"Nice going, Ash!" scowled May.

"I thought it was a gym," said Ash defensively. "So what was it then?"

"It wasn't a real gym, was it?" asked Max.

"No, it wasn't," said Brock, "She can't have been an actual gym leader..."

"I don't think you could have afforded anything she had to offer," muttered May, her face flushed red.

"Okay..." said Ash. "I still don't get it!"

"This town is too weird. Let's leave," suggested Max.

"Yes, let's leave the town!" exclaimed Brock.

"Pika!" agreed Pikachu.

So, the terrified Ash and his friends fled from Some Random Flowery Name Town and walked along a route.

500 wild Pidgey appeared!

"Pidgey?" asked a confused Pidgey. ("Is this Kanto?")

"So many Pidgey!" May exclaimed, waving her Pokédex at them and listening to it again.

The Pidgey suddenly started to look very hostile, as if they were about to attack.

"SALLLLL!" Saltinmyeye saw the warning signs, jumped out of May's arms and began to glow.

"Wow!" said Ash. "Maybe I could catch one..."

"But you already had a Pidgeot," Brock reminded him.

"OH NO!" wailed Ash. "I forgot to pick it up when I returned to Pallet Town after Orange Islands! NO!"

"Idiot," said Brock under his breath, dodging some pissed off Pidgey.

"EEEEYYYYYEEEEE!!!!!" Saltinmyeye appeared to explode, a giant ball of white light surrounding it and exploding. All the Pidgeys were lying on the ground knocked out... luckily, the Spearow with the camera was too far away to get hit.

"Wow, Saltinmyeye, you did it!" cried May.

"Awesome!" gaped Ash.

"It knocked them all out..." said Brock.

"Saltinmyeye must be very powerful," declared Max.

"Prepare for absolutely no trouble!"

"And I guess we're making it double..."

"Huh?" Ash and co. looked up to see Team Rocket floating down in their Meowth balloon.

"We're still protecting the world from devastation..."

"And we're saving people in every nation..."

"Today, we're gonna save the beauty of truth and love!"

"And people will remember us, up to the stars above!"

"JESSIE!"

"JAMES!"

"Team Rocket, bringing justice at the speed of light!"

"Be nice to us now, we won't fight!"

"Meowth, I guess you could say that's right!"

Jessie, James and Meowth hopped out of the basket and faced Ash's group.

"Wobbuffet!" Wobbuffet decided to join in, popping out of Jessie's Pokéball.

"Um... Team Rocket?" said Ash.

"Hold on and listen to us," said James. "We're explaining something!"

"Someone's after Saltinmyeye," said Jessie.

"Who?" asked Brock.

"TEEAMG," replied Meowth.

"Who's TEEAMG?" asked May.

"The Excitingly Exotic And Mysterious Girl?" guessed Meowth.

"The Evil Egg Ate My Grub?" James honestly had no clue either.

"The Extremely Evil And Mysterious Guy!" snapped Jessie, cross with her team mates.

"OH!" exclaimed James and Meowth.

"They want Saltinmyeye?" gasped May.

"We can't let them have it!" shouted Ash.

"Why do they want it anyway?" asked Max.

"Because it's powerful," explained Jessie.

"And TEEAMG could take over the world with it or something!" cried James.

"He's a totally bad guy!" said Meowth.

"Wobbuffet!" agreed Wobbuffet.

"Salt..." whimpered Saltinmyeye, and then it began to glow again.

"Huh?" exclaimed Ash, Brock, May, Jessie, James and Meowth in surprise.

"Pika!" said Pikachu.

Saltinmyeye was evolving. It grew to three and a half feet tall. Three horns now protruded from the back of its head, hanging down to its shoulders. It was still white with blue eyes, and still capable of standing on two feet. The tail was longer and drummed on the floor.

"Salt, salt tar!" exclaimed the evolution of Saltinmyeye.

"Hmmm." Ash pulled out the Pokédex and pointed it at the newly evolved Salt Pokémon.

"Saltaria, the evolution of Saltinmyeye," explained the Pokédex, "It is powerful and likes salt."

"Hmm," said Ash again, pocketing his Pokédex, "That information wasn't really useful."

"Can we join you?" asked James piteously.

"We've decided to give up on catching Pikachu," explained Jessie. "Because it's dang obvious we will never catch him."

"Alright!" said Ash. "Only if we can ride in your balloon!"

"Dat's fine!" said Meowth, "Right?"

"All right!" said James.

So, Ash, Pikachu, Brock, May, Saltaria, Max, Jessie, (recalling Wobbuffet into his Pokéball) James and Meowth jumped into the basket and the balloon lifted into the air.

**The Extremely Evil and Mysterious Guy's Fortress of Ultimate Doom**

"So..." snarled TEEAMG, "Those three Team Rocket people blabbed... pathetic... but it seems Saltinmyeye evolved into Saltaria so all's well... perhaps soon we shall see the final evolution... and what an evolution it will be..."

He walked out of the camera room and smiled.

"Hopefully, soon, that girl Misty will arrive, and most likely Professor Oak as well... I shall meet them outside in A Totally Random Town named after a Tree..."

He then left the building, laughing his head off.

**Somewhere in Hoenn**

"Are we nearly there yet?" asked Misty.

"No," said Professor Oak.

"Are we nearly there yet?" asked Gary.

"No..." sighed Professor Oak.

"Are we nearly there yet?" asked Tracey.

"NO!" bellowed Professor Oak. The van started to go out of control.

"Stop that, kids!" cried Delia, "We're gonna crash!"

"AAAAHHHH!!!!" screamed Oak, as the van bounced off a barrier and started flying through the air.

"We're flying!" yelled Misty.

"We're gonna die!" sobbed Tracey.

"I could never crash!" bragged Gary.

"Shut up, Gary!" said Delia.

Just as the van was about to crash land in A Totally Random Town named after a Tree, Mewtwo appeared and safely deposited it, then he disappeared to wherever he lives. The frightened group quickly jumped out of the van.

"Ah," said Oak. "We have arrived at A Totally Random Town named after a Tree."

"Hello," said TEEAMG, approaching them, "So you have arrived..."

"And you are?" asked Professor Oak.

"I am TEEAMG," explained TEEAMG, "The Extremely Evil And Mysterious Guy."

"I'm Professor Samuel Oak, and this is my grandson, Gary Oak."

"I'm Delia Ketchum."

"Misty Waterflower."

"Tracey Sketchit."

TEEAMG stared at Tracey, "Your name is Tracey?"

"Um, yeah?" said Tracey.

"AHAHAHAHAH!" laughed TEEAMG, "That's such a girly name!"

"My Japanese name is Kenji." Tracey looked ashamed, "I know, my English name sucks."

"My Japanese name is..." Misty struck a pose, "Kasumi!"

"Let's just go into my Fortress of Ultimate Doom," said TEEAMG, not interested in the least in hearing their Japanese names.

So, the group walked into The Extremely Evil and Mysterious Guy's Fortress of Ultimate Doom.

"Now, I must tell you something," TEEAMG said soberly. "You have been..."

At that moment, several super strong Team Rocket members appeared and grabbed the captives from behind, holding them tight. TEEAMG then shone a torch in his face.

"KIDNAPPED!" cried TEEAMG. "WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ah! Help!" cried Delia.

"You're going to pay for this!" shouted Oak.

"No way, let me go!" screamed Gary.

"Togetic, save me!" yelped Misty. Togetic jumped out of her arms and fled.

"Go and get help, Togetic!" shouted Tracey.

"Get that Togetic!" bellowed TEEAMG.

However, Togetic was too quick and nobody could catch it. It disappeared out of the building, into A Totally Random Town named after a Tree.

"Damn," cursed TEEAMG, "That stupid thing got away. Never mind. Take the captives to the cells and put them with the Jennies and Joys!"

So the Rocket Grunts dragged Oak, Delia, Gary, Misty and Tracey away and threw them in the cells.

**A Totally Random Town named after a Tree**

"Togetic, Togetic!!" cried the frantic Pokémon, rushing back and forth. It was clueless, not knowing what to do. It understood that Misty had been kidnapped and it had to save her, but it had no idea what it was meant to do. What was it really supposed to do when people were kidnapped by an evil syndicate working for some evil guy? It couldn't even talk.

"Toki!" exclaimed Togetic, suddenly getting an idea. It started to wave its arms back and forth, and they began to glow blue, as Togetic used Metronome. With a flash, it disappeared.

**Team Rocket's Hot Air Balloon, somewhere over Hoenn**

"So what are we going to do now?" asked Ash.

"Do nothing," suggested Brock. "That's all we ever do anyway."

"I know!" said May. "We could go to some random place, meet a random person and get tied up in some random filler subplot which only takes a day to solve."

"Or we could watch a Pokémon evolve?" suggested Max. "Oh wait, we've already had an evolution today."

"Salt, salt tar!" cried Saltaria excitedly, jumping up and down.

"Pikachu!" Pikachu sat on the edge of the basket, peering down at the continent of Hoenn.

"Normally I'd suggest we try and steal stuff," James sighed. "But our plan would only be foiled anyway."

"And we agreed to behave, remember?" Jessie reminded him.

"I'm hungry!" complained Meowth.

"Tokiiiiiii!" Togetic suddenly appeared in the basket.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Meowth. "I'm not THAT hungry!"

"Togetic!" exclaimed Ash and Brock in unison.

"Togetic?" May was confused. "Isn't it supposed to be in the Mirage Kingdom? That is the one Misty had as a Togepi, right?"

"How did it get here?" asked Max. "Did it teleport?"

"Pipipi!" exclaimed Pikachu, rushing down to greet Togetic. "Pika, pikachu pi?"

"Pi!" cried Togetic frantically. "Toki priiii!"

"Pikachupi?!" Pikachu was alarmed now.

"What's it saying, Pikachu?" asked Ash.

"Togetic, toge piiii, togi!" explained Togetic.

"Pikapi!" Pikachu scampered over to Ash, and explained, waving his arms up and down frantically. "Pikachupi pika chu pika chuuuu pi kachu pi! Pikapika pi pika!"

"Oh no!" cried Ash. "Misty, Professor Oak, Mom, Gary and Tracey have been kidnapped by TEEAMG!"

"We have to save them then!" said Brock.

"Let's get to A Totally Random Town named after a Tree!" said May, clutching Saltaria tightly.

"And beat up TEEAMG!" said Max.

"Don't worry!" said Jessie. "We know the way!"

"We'll get you there!" said James.

"Hey!" said Meowth suddenly. "Why is dat Spearow following us?"

"PIIIIIII-KAAAAA-CHUUUUUU!" Pikachu jumped back onto the side of the basket and somehow fried the Spearow with a massive thunderbolt. The barbecued Spearow fainted and fell down to the ground. Then the hot air balloon drifted away to A Totally Random Town named after a Tree.

**The Extremely Evil and Mysterious Guy's Fortress of Ultimate Doom- Inside the Dungeons**

"Darn!" cried Misty. "I wanted that Suicune so badly... guess I won't be getting it now."

"It's all her fault," complained Gary. "If it wasn't for her, we wouldn't be here now..."

"You didn't have to come," Oak said sternly. "It's your own fault you're here, and you know it."

"It's ok, Misty!" said Delia brightly. "You weren't to know it was some evil plot to kidnap us, I don't blame you for anything. I wonder if Ash will pop in..."

"Uh... I already knew it was an evil plot to kidnap us," Misty muttered quietly so that nobody could hear her.

"Yes!" Tracey jumped up and down in excitement. "Ash and his friends will come along and get kidnapped too! Fantastic!"

"Ash would not get kidnapped," Misty said decisively. "He's kind of naïve, but I'm sure he will be alright."

"I'm missing him!" wailed Delia. "I want to see my son!"

"Here?" Oak asked. "Right in the cell?"

"Yes!" Delia exclaimed, suddenly looking very evil. "Got a problem with that, Samuel?"

"No!" Oak backed away. "No problem at all!"

"It's all Misty's fault!" Gary whined.

"Shut up, Gary!" Misty growled at him.

"No!" argued Gary stubbornly.

"Wahhh..." Tracey started to cry. "I forgot my sketchbooks!"

Everybody looked at him in stunned silence.

"What... would you sketch?" asked Misty slowly.

"I don't know!" complained Tracey.

"Perhaps he would sketch the cell wall!" said Gary sarcastically.

"Shut up, Gary!" everybody but Tracey ordered. Tracey started crying harder.

"Why is everybody telling me to shut up?" complained Gary.

**A Totally Random Town named after a Tree**

"We are here!" exclaimed Ash as the balloon drifted to the ground.

"About time too!" added Brock.

"Let's go!" said May.

So, Team Rocket and Ash and co. as well as numerous Pokémon leaped out of the basket and started walking through A Totally Random Town named after a Tree looking for The Extremely Evil and Mysterious Guy's Fortress of Ultimate Doom. It took a very long time until then...

"Is that it?" asked Max, pointing at a giant pink castle that looked like it was some fantasy castle from Disneyland.

"Um... yeah..." James nodded dumbly.

"I knew it was around here!" Jessie sighed in relief.

"You're kidding me, right?" asked Ash hesitantly.

"No way!" Meowth protested.

"It doesn't really look like a fortress of ultimate doom," said Brock.

"Well, it just is!" Team Rocket snapped in unison.

"Wobbuffet!" added Wobbuffet, popping out of his Pokéball. Jessie sighed and recalled him.

"Well, if it is, we go in!" cried May, tugging on Saltaria's arm, "Let's go!"

"Pika?" Pikachu backed away, looking nervous.

"Toki tick!" wailed Togetic, waving its arms frantically and pointing at the pink castle.

"Pikachupi..." Pikachu quickly spoke to Togetic. "Pipipi, Pikachupi pika pi pikachu kachu?"

"Togiiii!" responded Togetic.

"Huh?" Ash looked at them dumbly.

"Pikapi," Pikachu glared at him and pointed at the fortress of ultimate doom. "Pikachupi pika pi kachu."

"Let's go then!" everyone shouted.

They rushed to the fortress of ultimate doom and busted through the doors, only to be greeted by TEEAMG flanked by several Rocket Grunts.

"Who are you then?" boomed TEEAMG, although he obviously already knew.

"I'm Satoshi AKA Ash!" shouted Ash, striking a pose. Everybody else did too. "I'm going to become a Pokémon Master!"

"Takeshi AKA Brock, future best Pokémon Breeder in the world!"

"Haruka AKA May, future Top Coordinator!"

"Masato, alias Max! The most intelligent person ever! Really!"

"Musashi AKA Jessie!"

"Kojiro AKA James!"

"Nyasu! Meowth!"

"ROKETTO-DAN! TEAM ROCKET!"

"I see..." TEEAMG raised an eyebrow. Was everyone crazy or was it just him? "Get them!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" they screamed, as the Rocket Grunts immediately overpowered them. Saltaria was wrenched from May's grip.

"SALTARIA!" screamed May.

"Saaaaalllllllt!!!!!" screeched the terrified Saltaria.

"Take them to the dungeons," said TEEAMG coldly. "I will take Saltaria."

**The Extremely Evil and Mysterious Guy's Fortress of Ultimate Doom- Inside the Dungeons**

"This is bad," Ash commented.

"Waaaah! Saltaria!" cried May.

"WAAAAAH!" cried Max. "Those nasty Rocket Grunts hurt me!"

"This sucks," complained Jessie.

"We weren't intending to get kidnapped..." sighed James.

"This is a mess!" said Meowth.

"Togetic!" chirruped the chick Pokémon, nudging Misty's leg.

"Togetic!" squealed Misty, scooping it up in a hug.

"Ash!" cried Delia, rushing over and embracing her son.

"Mom!" exclaimed Ash.

"Pikachu!" Pikachu tried to squeeze into their embrace.

"So, anyone bothered by the fact we're stuck in a cell?" asked Brock.

"I want to sketch," complained Tracey.

"I want to get out of here!" griped Gary.

"I want to get a break from everybody's complaining!" growled Oak.

**The Extremely Evil and Mysterious Guy's Fortress of Ultimate Doom- TEEAMG's room**

"Salt, salt!"

Saltaria was now happy. Traitorous little thing. TEEAMG had somehow bribed it with a few bags of salt and it was now devouring the salt at a speedy rate.

"It figures Saltaria would like salt," smiled TEEAMG, talking to himself because he is insane. "After all it is a salt Pokémon... and perhaps the beautiful combination of sodium and chloride may lead to its imminent evolution. That I await with much anticipation."

**The Extremely Evil and Mysterious Guy's Fortress of Ultimate Doom- Inside the Dungeons**

Everybody had now formulated the perfect plan. There were 3 Rocket Grunts standing outside the cell, and they were going to outwit them somehow.

"Ready, girls?" asked Ash.

"After this, we go and save the Jennies and Joys!" cried Brock happily.

"No, we save Saltaria," May growled grumpily.

"Yes, we're ready!" cried Misty.

"Now!" said Oak.

Delia, Misty, May and Jessie promptly slumped to the floor.

"OH NO!" cried Ash, Gary and Tracey in their loudest voices possible.

"The girls have fainted!" shouted Brock loudly.

"THEY MIGHT DIE!" wailed James melodramatically.

"What's going on?" demanded a Rocket Grunt, opening the cell door. Big mistake. He was promptly shocked by the power of Pikachu's electricity.

The second Rocket Grunt rushed in, only to find he had jumped out of the frying pan into the fire when Combusken toasted him.

"What the...?" cried the third Rocket Grunt, looking in, alarmed that his comrades had fallen. He then got blasted by Mudkip's Water Gun.

Everybody rushed out of the cell. Brock rushed to the next cell and got Forretress to smash the door down, freeing the Jennies and Joys. Then the extremely large group rushed through countless hallways, beating up Rocket Grunts and sending pitiful little Rockets crying for their mommies.

**The Extremely Evil and Mysterious Guy's Fortress of Ultimate Doom- TEEAMG's room**

"You ok, Saltaria?" asked TEEAMG.

"Sal...salt..." said Saltaria uncertainly. It felt somewhat strange but it was not sure why. It scooped some more salt into its mouth and munched away slowly.

"The more salt you eat, the better!" declared TEEAMG, laughing evilly.

"SALTARIA!"

"What the heck?" TEEAMG turned around to see an angry looking group of eleven people and three Pokémon. They did not look very happy with TEEAMG at all.

"Oh... crap..." muttered TEEAMG.

"Salt!" Saltaria bounced off the table and rushed over to May who clutched it tightly.

"Oh, Saltaria, I'm so glad you're ok!" cried May.

"Now let's get out of here!" commanded Misty.

"I'm all for that!" Brock added.

"Come on!" Ash shouted.

"Hey..." Max stared at Saltaria closely. "It looks a bit odd..."

"Odd?" May started to look evil. "ODD?"

"You sound like an Oddish!" taunted Gary.

"Shut up, Gary," said Tracey.

"I wonder what TEEAMG did to it," said James doubtfully.

"Why has he got so much salt?" asked Meowth.

"Pika!" gasped Pikachu.

"He eats a lot of salt?" Jessie stared at TEEAMG. "Don't you know that leads to high blood pressure?"

"Ha ha!" said TEEAMG. "I have been feeding Saltaria a lot of salt!"

"Why?" asked Oak.

"It likes salt?" asked Delia.

"Of course!" said Ash. "Saltaria is a salt Pokémon!"

"And it was born from a salt lick!" Brock recalled.

"SALT!" Saltaria jumped backwards, looking alarmed. "Saltaria salt tar saltaria!"

"Pikachu pika?" Pikachu asked.

"Saltaria saltaria!"

"Togetic togi!" cried Togetic.

"Salt, saltaria!" Saltaria waved its arms up and down. "Saaaaalllt!"

"It's telling us to get out!" explained Meowth. "It says something terrible will happen!"

"WHAT?" exclaimed Jessie and James in horror.

"Saltaria!" May wailed, trying to grab it but it gently pushed her away, shaking its head.

"Hmm..." TEEAMG nodded enthusiastically. "Its evolution may be near."

"Evolution?" Ash's mouth dropped open.

"SALTARIA!"

"Um, shouldn't we get out?" Misty reminded everybody.

"Oh right!" Oak exclaimed. "Let's go!"

Everybody promptly rushed out except TEEAMG and Saltaria. TEEAMG was too busy looking at Saltaria with a crazy expression on his face and Saltaria began to glow.

**A Totally Random Town named after a Tree**

"What about Saltaria?" May wailed. "We can't leave without it!"

"It didn't say to leave the town," said Ash. "Right?"

"Pika," Pikachu agreed.

"I wonder what's going to happen..." Misty mused.

"Perhaps Saltaria has a plan?" suggested Oak.

"I hope it isn't doing anything dangerous," Delia fretted.

"If it kills TEEAMG, that's great," Gary muttered in annoyance.

"You shouldn't say things like that," Brock said reproachfully.

"TEEAMG's going to regret this, I bet," Meowth said smugly.

"We actually got to help out today," James exclaimed with a smile. "It does feel nice."

"Yeah, like we haven't done it enough before," Jessie said.

"You guys seem to help more often than you actually hinder anybody," Tracey pointed out.

"Togetic..." squeaked Togetic.

"Oh, Jennies, Joys," Brock fell down on his knees facing the Jennies and Joys. "How can I choose?"

The Jennies and Joys promptly fled back to their respective towns and Brock nearly cried, but Misty smacked him on the underside of his head, so he did not cry in case she did it again.

Suddenly, The Extremely Evil And Mysterious Guy's Fortress of Ultimate Doom exploded in a terrific explosion, and TEEAMG was last seen flying through the air never to be seen again. Where the fortress once stood was now a huge Pokémon.

"What's THAT?" exclaimed Max.

"Hmm..." Ash pulled out his Pokédex, which was beginning to get tired of looking up all these Pokémon, but didn't complain.

"Saltica," explained the Pokédex, "The final evolution of Saltinmyeye and Saltaria. It is believed that this is the Pokémon seen at the very end of the world unless somebody stops it..."

"Huh" Ash stared at Saltica.

Saltica was over 8 feet tall. It stood on all four limbs, strong and bulky with clawed feet, and it had a large broad head with two horns protruding from the front, curling forwards, and a third horn sticking backwards towards its back. It had bright green eyes. A massive pair of wings sprouted from its back, and it had a long tapering tail. Saltica now appeared to be a huge salt dragon.

"At the end of the world?" Misty gasped.

"SAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" boomed Saltica, turning to look at everybody. It opened its large, rounded muzzle and a huge beam of light shot out directly at them. Most of them dodged, but Team Rocket were not so lucky. They weren't killed naturally, but...

"WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNN!!!!"

"Surprise, surprise," Brock muttered.

"Saltica!" May shrieked, rushing towards the huge Salt Pokémon. "Stop, please stop!"

"Salt..." Saltica stared down at the frantic young girl. He frowned and swiped a massive paw at her.

"May!" Max screamed, trying to rush forwards but Oak restrained him.

"Ahh!" May barely dodged. Screaming, she rushed back to the group.

"Now what?" complained Gary. "It's one thing after another."

"How about Saltica destroys the world?" Tracey screamed, running back and forth in a panic.

"PIKA PIKACHU!" yelled Pikachu frantically.

"Salt..." rasped Saltica. "The salt shall be mine..."

"It spoke!" everybody exclaimed in shock.

"Of course I can speak!" Saltica boomed. "I am all-powerful, you could at least expect me to speak! And now I shall have to wreak destruction upon the world!"

"Why?" sobbed May.

"Because," explained Saltica, stepping towards the group, making the ground rumble slightly with each step. "You humans stole sodium chloride from us... there were Pokémon who loved sodium and chlorine, and they brought it together to make salt..."

"And we stole the salt?" Ash asked.

"Yes!" Saltica nodded, its eyes flashing angrily. "The humans killed them all for the salt! In a last ditch effort, the Pokémon created a living organism and sealed it away in a salt lick!"

"The salt lick in Mossdeep City!" cried Brock.

"Exactly!" said Saltica. "Bloody wars were fought for the possession of sodium and chlorine. The world could have been destroyed for salt. The humans cruelly slaughtered the sodium chlorine loving Pokémon and stole their salt, and only I remain now. Humans shall pay! And their Pokémon too! The world will end!"

"But what will happen to the salt?" asked Tracey.

"Who cares about the salt?" shrieked Misty.

"Togetic!" wailed Togetic in fright.

"No way!" shouted Ash. "We're not going to let you destroy the world!"

"Pathetic!" said Gary. "It's obsessed with salt!"

"But why..." Max asked. "Why weren't you evil when you were Saltinmyeye and Saltaria?"

"Because," Saltica appeared to be sneering as it addressed him. "I was not at my full power then. Now I am, I feel intelligence flowing through me. I feel the pain of the Pokémon as they died; the last thing they saw was their salt being taken away by the callous human who knocked them down! Sodium... Chlorine..."

"But if you destroyed the world," Brock said patiently. "You would have nowhere to live and there would be no salt."

"No," Saltica shook its head. "Sodium and Chlorine would still exist. And I could always save a bit of the world for myself."

"Pathetic!" cried Gary. "Your whole plan is pathetic!"

"Listen," said Oak. "I think you need to quit obsessing with salt."

"NO!" bellowed Saltica. "The sodium chloride shall prevail!"

"I can't believe this!" Tracey wailed. "I get to see a rare Pokémon, and I don't have my sketchbook!"

"We could give you salt!" offered Delia.

"We're not bad!" May protested in desperation. "Not anymore!"

"We're sorry!" Ash cried. "We had no idea about how salt used to be important to some Pokémon!"

"PIKACHU!" yelled Pikachu.

"It's too late," said Saltica coldly. "They are dead, there is nothing you can do."

"But I thought you cared!" May sobbed. "You were so sweet before... since this morning... how could you have changed so quickly? Why?"

"I never cared," Saltica said stonily. "Even if it looked like it. The chance encounter with those Pidgeys was merely a stroke of luck. And TEEAMG was nice enough to feed me a lot of salt. He somehow knew it would make me evolve."

"No way!" shouted Ash. "You must have cared at some point!"

"Kachu pipi!" screamed Pikachu, trying to coax Saltica.

"Togi Togetic!" wailed Togetic.

"Please, no!" yelled Misty. "You can't destroy the world, you just can't!"

"You told us to get out of the fortress!" shouted Brock. "Saltaria told us to get out!"

"I was weak," explained Saltica. "I should not have let you get out. Perhaps I may come to regret that but never mind, I can always make up for it sooner or later."

"Saltaria knew it was going to happen..." Max said quietly. "But couldn't it stop it?"

"Probably not," said Oak. "The high salt levels may have made it evolve."

"That's terrible!" cried Delia. "A forced evolution! I'd hate it if Mimey had to go through that!"

"Mr. Mime can't evolve," said Gary cleverly.

"Oh that's right! Phew!" Delia looked relieved.

"Please!" wailed Tracey. "Give me a chance to sketch you!"

"SHUT UP, TRACEY!" screamed Misty at the top of her voice.

"Yeah, shut up, Tracey!" shouted Gary.

"I am glad," said Saltica. "Glad that TEEAMG fed me so much salt... but he was worthless, he deserved to die... and now you will die..."

"Do we get a choice?" Ash asked piteously.

"Saltinmyeye... Saltaria..." May sobbed.

"They are gone," Max told her, sadly. "They cannot come back."

"Why did this have to happen?" Brock groaned. "Saltaria knew it was going to happen, yet it could not stop it."

"Of course not!" bellowed Saltica. "You cannot stop me from destroying the world! You pitiful humans will cower under the power of Sodium Chloride! SALT BLAST!"

A huge wave of salt washed over the humans and they shrieked in pain. Pikachu narrowly avoided the salt by hiding behind Ash and Togetic quickly flew out of the way.

"I love you, Saltinmyeye! Saltaria, I'll never forget you!" screamed May, collapsing to the ground.

Combusken popped out of its Pokéball and concernedly looked at its trainer. It then turned to look at Saltica, looking really mad. Beautifly, Skitty and Bulbasaur also joined Combusken.

Pikachu, Grovyle, Swellow and Torkoal stood in front of their fallen trainer.

Forretress, Lombre and Mudkip also joined in the party, as well as Misty's many Pokémon.

Gary's Umbreon, Arcanine, Nidoking, Doduo, and Blastoise also appeared.

Then, Tracey's Pokémon who had remained the same ever since he got them for some bizarre reason, Scyther, Marill and Venonat joined the party.

"So, you all wish to challenge ME?" Saltica boomed. "Pathetic!"

"PIKA!" Pikachu's cheeks sparked in its anger. "Chu pikachu pika Pikapi, Pikachupi! Pika!"

"Ha ha!" laughed Saltica. "Bring it on!"

Suddenly, he was hit with a barrage of many random attacks of different types. There would be way too many to list, since all the Pokémon present were using them at the same time and even throwing in more attacks. It was quite impressive actually that the combined force of all their attacks didn't result in some massive explosion that engulfed the whole town. Their constant attacks eventually proved to be too much for the demented salt loving Pokémon and he quickly weakened. It just didn't make any sense, but somehow it was happening. The combined force of lots of angry, cheating Pokémon was actually enough to defeat him.

"Oh crap..." Saltica promptly fell over on its side, knocked out.

"Pikapi?" Pikachu concernedly nudged Ash.

"Unnnn... it's over?" Ash looked up weakly. "I don't believe it."

Everybody else got to their feet, well and alive, and were greeted by happy and hyper Pokémon.

"Saltica!" May rushed over to the fallen Pokémon's side. "Saltica, please don't die! We'll give you all the salt you want!"

"I'm... sorry..." Saltica closed its eyes and then faded away from sight altogether. The only thing that remained was a small lump of salt. May picked up the lump of salt and clutched it tightly.

"May? It's only salt," said Max hesitantly.

"Only salt," sighed May. "Salt, which almost destroyed the world."

"This is stupid!" growled Misty. "I want to go home!"

"Let's go home then!" cried Delia.

"You're right, let's go!" said Oak.

"I'm all for that!" said Gary.

"So let's get out of here," suggested Tracey.

"Um, could you drop us off somewhere else?" asked Ash.

"Of course!" said Oak.

"Thanks!" said Brock happily. "And wherever we go, there better be a Jenny and a Joy!"

"Togetic, togi," Togetic said, waving as it flew into the air. It felt like going back to the Mirage Kingdom now, where it was supposed to be.

With that, everybody piled into Oak's van and he drove all the way to Petalburg City for some reason, then dropped Ash, Brock, May and Max off. Then Oak, Delia, Gary, Tracey and Misty went to Pallet Town, Kanto. Misty quickly returned to Cerulean City to find a crowd of angry trainers outside the gym, desperate for Cascade Badges.

All the Nurse Johns and Officer Bennies mysteriously blew up, and the Joys and Jennies were only too happy to return to their original positions.

May preserved her lump of salt in a glass amulet despite the fact some people found it funny, and she never forgot her beloved salt Pokémon.

The group had to go all the way back to Mossdeep, no thanks to the quest, since Ash had to fight Tate and Liza at the gym.

Nobody would forget Saltica, the incredible Salt Pokémon born from a Salt Lick, which tried to destroy the world for its love of Sodium and Chlorine.

And this concludes the final chapter on Pokémon and Salt... or does it? Nobody knows when salt may rear its ugly head again after all. Be careful when you put it on your fries, an angry salt Pokémon might steal them from you.

Salt is bad for you, do not consume too much! It can cause high blood pressure! EAT CHEESE INSTEAD!


End file.
